*Go back ::scratch:: Go back ::scratch::
Go back to ur dorm, an u got ur roommate.. that never werks out. That never
werks out.. they don't want it to work out. They want it like its a real world
episode in ur dorm room. Like I, uh, Like I don't understand like they hav the
compatibility tests you fill out at the beginning of the year... thats such a
joke with that test u fill out at the beginning of the year. It's like "Umm I
like rock and roll. I like stayin up late, and I love the ladies! oh yeah oh
hoo" "Okay we got the perfect room mate for u. He'z an opera major,he'z an
arptileptic, an he'z gay so go fight each other. we got four camera angles.
That'll be perfect, welcome to college, go screw urself." "HUH?" "Yeah, thats
what we say here, go ahead." Then u think urslef, "Okay I got it beat, i got it
beat, my buddy from high skool's comn up, hez gonna be my room mate, its gonna
be awesum." No, that is never awesum. It doesn't work out. No it doesn't. Hate
to tell ya, u will fight each other, u will jes get, u will get, ill tell ya
why one of is cuz they have too much dirt on u. You'r friend from home has too
much dirt on u, they'll kill u they'll crush u in an argument for no reason.
Like u jes say "hey man, uh, these dishes hav been in the sink for like 2 weeks
man, an their ur dishes, are u gonna clean em or wat?" Yeah remember when u had
crabs in 6 grade? (audience laughter) I fair to bring up my crabs?
Jimmy Fallon live standup - Roommates, Dorms (03:15)
Jimmy Fallon does standup about roommates and dorm room stuff